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January 31, 2007
1036: For the Birthday Boy
Happy 30th, Chris.
On this special day, I present to you, the single best use of the Internet to date!
Enjoy!
Posted by ashley at 08:12 PM | TrackBack
1035: Thank you, brain.
I love it when my brain gives me a little present, seemingly out of nowhere. I woke up this AM and before it even occurred to me that I was awake, this was playing on my mental iPod...
Thanks, brain. That was nice of you. Maybe next time we could do a little...
But, you know, good job -- you get an A for effort.
Posted by ashley at 07:21 AM | TrackBack
January 30, 2007
1034: TV Party!
Chris: what are you doing for the superbowl? are you going to get confused and wind up on a farm?
Ashley: it'll be like green acres. i really love that show. does that make me crazy?
Chris: depends. how do you see it? as homage to the backwaters and byways of our country's long-gone heritage? or a treatise on how crappy the country is? me, i'd up and move back to park avenue. and take arnold with me.
Ashley: i think of it purely as a vehicle for eva gabor, dahlink!
Chris: ha ha when will eddie albert realize that he's horrible at farm life! and that no one is happy!
Ashley: if they're so rich, i never understand why their house is always so terrible
Chris: because everything is terrible out there. neighbors are nosy and strange
Ashley: and why are the country folk always so angry and shady. except for ed, who is kindhearted and good
Chris: country folk are like that. like less-sophisticated carneys
Ashley: the city folk are evil too. they are full of contempt and judging
Chris: yeah, but that's their thing
Ashley: how do they get their drycleaning done out there? and what happens to lisa's dog? she arrives with one and then it seems to disappear
Chris: it morphed into arnold
Ashley: and gained the gift of speech
Chris: you're thinking of babe
Ashley: well lisa and ed could communicate with the animals. because they are stupid but blessed. like me!
Chris: ha ha ha no, you belong here in new york . plus, you get allergic smelling hay.
Ashley: i just adore a penthouse view! i love the episodes where they just abandon everything and try to do it as a flashback to stuff that happened seemingly in another show
Chris: i like it when things happen like arnold goes to hollywood or joins the army. things that make you question your sanity
Ashley: he's pretty headstrong. i like that about him
Chris: heart of a champion
Ashley: or the one where hooterville honored a WWII vet who was actually a duck. genius
Chris: see, that's the kind of crap that flies out there. so to speak
Chris: deathmatch: arnold vs. babe. who wins?
Ashley: arnold. he's been in the army. and babe is too trusting
Chris: but babe has tenacity and he's good with words. but okay
Ashley: babe has weird hair
Chris: true
Chris: arnold versus mr. ed
Ashley: mr. ed
Ashley: he'd boot that pig into heaven
Chris: ha ha ha darrin vs. wilbur
Chris: any darrin
Ashley: ha ha ha wilbur
Ashley: darrin has few good qualities and does terrible ads. wilbur is kind to animals and possibly nuts. although i don't think we ever see any buildings he's responsible for
Chris: they've all fallen down
Ashley: they're all in hooterville
Chris: man, that's like hell
Chris: where all the old, strange kooks and their animals go to live
Ashley: shifty-eyed carnie folk
Chris: yep
Chris: is mr. ed a figment of his mind? or, mr. ed's speech, rather
Ashley: no, mr. ed is real. very real. next challenge!
Chris: dick van dyke vs. that ottoman
Ashley: ottoman -- usually
Chris: i want a tally made. see to it at once!
Ashley: ottonman: van dyke.... 3:1 i think
Chris:i was just imagining how it would be if arnold did future roles in other shows. starting with him as Battle Cat in He-Man. of course, he'd be Battle Pig
Ashley: ha ha ha. on star trek. the old and new ones. on the dog whisperer -- as a dog
Chris: ha ha ha as T.J. Hooker
Ashley: f troop, as a misc. native american
Chris: as James Rockford
Ashley: ha ha
Chris: as Robocop
Ashley: robocop is an art history prof now
Chris: ha ha ha
Ashley: i feel a little cheated that he never taught me…HOW TO KILL. (Arnold) on i love lucy, as yet another one of lucy's redneck relations. or would that be typecasting?
Chris: ha ha ha well, maybe, but i'm sure his agent would recommend he do it just to let the casting directors know he's still around
Ashley: i don't think arnold is around anywhere
Chris: no, he got eaten
Ashley: aww
Chris: yep. by the cast and crew, i hear
Ashley: oh man
Chris: even the duck had some
Ashley: oh snap!
Chris: ha ha greedy duck!
Ashley: “let me feast on the flesh of another minor character!”
Chris: ok, i got another one for you: eddie albert versus eddie munster . remember, albert has a pitchfork. and other farm implements
Ashley: well eddie munster is a child. in short pants. so, eddie albert
Chris: ha ha. but he's a vampire!
Ashley: no, a werewolf. common mistake
Chris: oh right
Ashley: but the munsters have a positive, kindly outlook on the world
Ashley: they would never hurt anyone
Chris: yeah. what's wrong with them?
Ashley: they're good people. they’re better than humans.
Chris: do we know how they ended up there? together? are they actually related? and just really unlucky?
Ashley: yeah although supposedly lily is his second wife
Chris: really? iiiiinteresting.
Ashley: the first wife was another actress who didn't survive past the pilot. but they never really address that
Chris: ha ha ha
Ashley: she had a different name. grandpa is lily's dad. they're all related. who knows why grandpa was living there with eddie before lily married herman? or why there's more than one marilyn?
Chris: were they always monsters? or, did like, dad get reanimated, a kid got bitten by a vampire, etc
Ashley: yeah, and so are their relatives
Chris: weird.
Ashley: although, inexplicably, marilyn is normal
Chris: i always figured she was some sort of psychic. or some other sort of otherworldly person
Ashley: nope, she's their niece. i forget why they're raising her
Chris: oh right
Ashley: but they pity her for looking messed up. she pities herself too
Chris: does grampa drink blood?
Ashley: yeah, sometimes he tries to bite his own relatives. i don't think we ever see him actually drinking blood but he talks a good game
Chris: ha ha ha also, is there a mummy?
Ashley: no, which i consider a major oversight. i can forgive the lack of a zombie, because zombies would make bad houseguests but a mummy is too much of a classic monster to be left out. oh, but then there's the time herman fell asleep in a sarcophagus and everyone thought he was a mummy
Chris: ha ha ha and they were afraid?
Ashley: well humans were but the munsters were like, "Oh, HERMAN!" and tutting with disapproval.
Ashley:i watch a lot of TV for old people. i should work at TV Land
Chris: seriously
Ashley: answering questions people have about old timey TV
Chris: "were chitty-chitty-bang-bang and mother the car related?" etc. "how about francis and mr. ed"? you'd get a lot of them. also, the munsters and addams families. were the munsters monsters from birth? and wait, don't they all have the same last name? i.e., are grampa and herman both munsters ?
Ashley: you're right about the munsters all having the same last name - i think. although imdb just lists grandpa as "grandpa" no last name
So, if you’re out there, TV Land people… call me.
And Chris, if you’re out there, where did you disappear to? There’s so much more classic TV to dissect!
Posted by ashley at 07:06 AM | TrackBack
January 29, 2007
1033: "I cry out for magic!"
I'm sorry that I've been slacking here, but I've been incredibly busy at work and, consequently, I've been incredibly tired. Of course, what I've been doing and however tired I've been is nothing compared to what Pete's been going through. I've barely seen him lately, since he's been working 24-7 for weeks and weeks and weeks... The good news is that we're planning a short getaway, although we haven't even had time to work out the details. As we haven't been on a proper vacation for a few years, we're looking forward to it, even if it's only for a few days.
Due to our hectic schedules and the resulting exhaustion, we had to cut out early from Chris's birthday party last Saturday. After feasting on delicious Mexican food (although we've yet to figure out what made that "Molten Mexican Chocolate Cake" is actually "Mexican"), we put in several continuous hours of karaoke over on the LES. That's right -- hours. That's how we do Chris's birthday, see? The party was still going strong -- if by strong, you mean "screeching through 'Holy Diver'" -- when we stepped out around 1.
Although Chris's actual birthday isn't until the 31st, I thought this would be appropriate...
Posted by ashley at 07:19 AM | TrackBack
January 24, 2007
1032: ?
Last night, Pete claimed to have seen a giant (and he took a photo, so I can confirm that it is, in fact, 100% giant) disco ball held by a crane above Canal Street. He thinks it was for some sort of music video, and he wasn't able to pick out who the star was among the crowd of people in the street.
I am, of course, completely upset. Whose video was it?! And why is the internet letting me down? Didn't anyone else see this thing and think to mention it online? It's not every day you see a disco ball lighting up four solid blocks in any direction.
Come on. Help me out, here.
Posted by ashley at 07:29 AM | TrackBack
January 23, 2007
1031: Danke.
I was home yesterday with splitting headache, but this cheered me up:
Video-Interview zu "Casino Royale" (it's a bit old, obviously)
The pay-off is around 3:30, if you can survive the interviewer's occasional struggles with English.
Also, I hear the Zappos boots I ordered have arrived:
Oh, and I pre-ordered this on Amazon:
Posted by ashley at 07:25 AM | TrackBack
January 22, 2007
1030: "You might look at it as a friend, to me it's been a beast."
I meant to blog about this earlier, but The Dark Knight recently wrote something about Some Kind of Monster.
I love it! I'm not sure if I agree that James and Lars have a business-only relationship because even their work-related digs at each other are highly personal ones and it seems to me that Lars (at least) misses the friendship he and Hetfield had as teenagers. I could be wrong. Either way, I love what Jonathan has written and I love, love, love this movie. When it first came out, we saw it in a sold-out crowd of die hard fans down on the Lower East Side. However much my love had waned since Load/Reload/Napster/etc., it was completely reignited after seeing this.
Ladies and gentlemen, I love Metallica. (But you knew that already, didn't you?)
Posted by ashley at 11:00 AM | TrackBack
January 19, 2007
1029: Bleeder.
Since watching the Pusher trilogy, I've been trying to find other films by Nicolas Winding Refn. The good news is that there's several. The bad news is that many of them aren't out on Region 1 DVD, but more to the point, most of them aren't available on Netflix. While we'll soon get a better DVD player, if we want to watch more Winding Refn, we'll have to purchase his movies without previously viewing them. That's not a big deal, it's just kind of annoying.
In particular, I'm interested in seeing Bleeder, which I keep seeing mentioned online as being Taxi Driver-like -- which pretty much ensures I'm going to love it.
Scroll down past the synopsis, which is chock-full-spoilers.
A bit NSFW:
"You watch four movies a day!"
I wish!
Posted by ashley at 07:31 AM | TrackBack
January 18, 2007
1028: I hope our little poker tournament isn't causing you to... OMG LE CHIFFRE!
Yesterday, as I mentioned to Chris, I followed the progress of a poker tournament taking place in Denmark, thanks to the semi-live blogging on "Poker Stars." Why? Because the best Bond villian ever (Mads Mikkelsen) was playing!
After his having won what was apparently an illegal tournament, I'm sure I wasn't the only one checking online to see his progress -- and posisbly whether anyone at his table kicked the bucket. Even the Poker Stars bloggers giddily suggested he poison someone if things didn't work out well for him, which is appropriate because their coverage up until his departure was a bit like "so-and-so is playing well and has X number of chips and OMG LE CHIFFRE IS TOTALLY SITTING RIGHT THERE!"
Actually, that's totally how I would have covered it myself -- minus the stuff about people playing poker. To be fair, I probably wouldn't have named all the photos of him playing some variation on the words "Le" and "Chiffre." I might have, you know, used his real name given that prior to Casino Royale, he was actually quite famous in Denmark, where this tournament was happening. But whatever. OMG LE CHIFFRE IS TOTALLY SITTING RIGHT THERE!
Posted by ashley at 07:27 AM | TrackBack
January 17, 2007
1027: OMG.
Thank you, CuteOverload!
Posted by ashley at 07:02 AM | TrackBack
January 16, 2007
1026: CELEBRITY SIGHTING: RICHIE RICH
Yesterday, on my way to get some food, I passed by a very tiny Richie Rich walking up 7th Avenue in a very tiny hat.
Me: "Just saw half of Heatherette."
Chris: "No way! I was just thinking about them. Sadly. Which one?"
Me: "Richie Rich. He looked small and sad."
Chris: "I'm not surprised. Although I would have been more surprised if you saw the other guy and recognized him."
Me: "Yeah, who cares about whatshisface."
I was just kidding, pudding pop! We would totally care if it were the other guy, he's just less recognizable. That's all.
Posted by ashley at 07:03 AM | TrackBack
January 15, 2007
1025: You'll be happy to know...
I've finally gotten around to joining the gym down the street.
While it's not quite what many of you have suggested ("You should take up boxing/a martial arts/crime fighting, etc.") as a way for me to work on my stress, I think it's a step in the right direction. I'm not someone who has trouble mustering up the discipline to get to the gym on a regular basis, and I getting up both Saturday and Sunday mornings to work out won't be an issue. It's just finding time in my schedule to go during the week that's a problem -- even more so because that's when I most need to blow of steam. But whether I get there every day, every other day, or only on the weekends, it's got to be good for me.
I mean, it's still going to take me a while to get dressed in the morning...
Posted by ashley at 07:14 AM | TrackBack
January 12, 2007
1024: Wish you were here.
To Shoshi:
I feel certain that the postcard you sent me from your holiday ended up on top of my apartment building's mailbox area not because of some address issue (since the card was correctly addressed) but because the Postman found its message so awesome that he wanted to share it with everyone else in the building.
I mean, that's what I would have done with it.
Posted by ashley at 08:18 PM | TrackBack
January 11, 2007
1023: Goodbye, Mrs. Munster
'Munsters' star Yvonne De Carlo dies
Posted by ashley at 07:29 AM | TrackBack
January 10, 2007
1022: LiLo ruins gothic superstar marriage!
The other day, in Defamer's Privacy Watch round-up, a reader submitted something about spying Dita Von Teese and friends (not including Marilyn) sitting down to a showing of Dreamgirls. I was utterly charmed, of course. Perhaps she didn't show up in Christian Louboutin heels and full-out Vivienne Westwood fabulousness, but I couldn't care less. I mean, how cute is that?
Perhaps there's a reason Marilyn didn't join the party. I mean, the fact that it was Dreamgirls is probably reason enough. More likely, the reason is that they're getting divorced.
While they don't have kids to worry about, they do have a small menagerie of pets that they're fighting for custody over -- a menagerie that includes two devon rex cats. I don't mention that with the intention of making it sound silly, I'm actually quite pained by the thought of having to part with a pet.
I suppose the whole divorce thing seemed a bit predictable given the short lifespan of celebrity marriages, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that the demise of this uber-spooky union would involve... Lindsey Lohan.
What?
Posted by ashley at 01:00 AM | TrackBack
January 09, 2007
1021: (Sniffle)
I don't feel good.
But, I do own this... so, I've got that going for me.
Posted by ashley at 07:11 AM | TrackBack
January 08, 2007
1020: "THE LAST ONE TO DIE PLEASE TURN OUT THE LIGHTS."
In his recent review of Children of Men ("Apocalypse (Not So Long From) Now" -
Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men is the latest cultural harbinger of the End of Days, of nature gone haywire and human nature following apace. Or maybe it’s the other way around. In any event, it’s 2027 and eighteen years have passed since the last baby was born on the planet. Humans have lost the capacity to reproduce, and no one knows why. It’s just something in the air. Or the water. Or the Zeitgeist. The point is: We’re a dying species, paying a terminal price for our arrogant sense of entitlement. The English have maintained a sort of order, but that order is (characteristically) pathological, the people in sheeplike denial, the ruling class progressively more violent. Into this vacuum of hope has rushed a Fascistic regime, which rounds up illegal immigrants—known as “fugees,” as in “refugees”—and imprisons the undesirables who aren’t shot on the spot in holding cages and emptied-out cities that make you think of downtown Baghdad. Children of Men is a bouillabaisse of up-to-the-minute terrors.
Watching it this weekend with Pete, as potentially laughable as this sounds, I couldn't help but think about V for Vendetta. Now, hold up -- stay with me on this one...
The English have maintained a sort of order, but that order is (characteristically) pathological, the people in sheeplike denial, the ruling class progressively more violent. Into this vacuum of hope has rushed a Fascistic regime...
Does that not sound like V's London -- or, at least, the London V deserved?
I know not all of you understand my affection for the movie or the graphic novel, but if you can look past some of the admittedly goofy points and stomach Natalie Portman's ever-changing psuedo-English accent ("Buiwldings!"), you should be able to appreciate that there's something there worth liking. You'd think that being allowed only one facial expression would hinder Hugo Weaving's ability to play V, but ultimately his performance was hindered by the fact that however sinister and cunning V was in the graphic novel, he'd been reduced to a bit of a fool in the screenplay. (All credit due to Weaving's being completely and utterly awesome for overcoming this damage with grace and charm.)
I really, really, REALLY don't think anyone ever needed to see him dancing around in his cozy kitchen in a sissy-pants apron. That just... I mean, that's just profoundly wrong; it spawned all sorts of vaguely disturbing, cosplay-nutty fantasies that -- at least for a few weeks last year -- seemed to infect The Internets with a giddy, fan-girl stupidity. Wasn't V likable enough? I mean, I may be meeting Le Chiffre later for drinks and a good-natured game of Go Fish, but am I wrong to have preferred the harder, more vicious V that Alan Moore envisioned? How could anyone not fall head-over-heels for a shadowy, hideously disfigured guy who introduces himself with old Stones lyrics? What's not to love? Yeah! Let's blow up some 'buiwldings! Yehaw!
If V's motivations seemed a bit unexplored and ridiculous, that was in part due to the fact that his character's viciousness was toned down for the movie. Instead of ditching Evey in a gutter (frankly, like she deserves), he's been forced to dance around like Errol Flynn minus the curls. But perhaps more than the treatment of his character, it's the presentation of his environment that does the most damage to V. Evey works for jerks but her situation isn't sufficiently troubling. London doesn't seem that bad, frankly. V for Vendetta's London should have been more like Children of Men's London -- it had dank alleyways and a few uniforms, but it didn't have enough menace and tangible anxiety. It needed to be roughed up and hardened, but then again, so did V. It needed to be, as Eldstein puts it, a place "where evil flourishes because good men do nothing." It's kind of a shame, really.
I won't spoil Children of Men for any of you who intend to see it, but aside from a few problems ("The plot makes sense only if you don’t loiter over it," says Eldstein) we enjoyed it. I hadn't read the book so I didn't know too much about the plot aside from what I'd read about it; frankly, based on the teaser trailer we'd seen a few months ago, I didn't really intend on seeing it. It looked a bit too righteous for me, and I mistook Clive Owen's expression in one moment for something like "childlike wonder." In hindsight, the look was "complete physical agony." My mistake!
On a semi-related note, we saw a trailer for Lucky You -- a new film with Eric Bana. I don't think we'll be seeing that, particularly because Pete can't stand another Poker-themed movie in which the "tell" is explained. Also, my mind cannot grasp that Eric Bana is not a) in the Mossad or b) a Delta Force operator. I am aware that he is a charming Australian with a background in comedy, but I also believe he has killed before and will kill again.
The comedian-turned-actor thing is obviously just a clever cover. Duh!
People not operating under a cover include the late Big Edie and Little Edie. After having enjoyed Grey Gardens the other weekend, we followed up with The Beales of Grey Gardens. I love these ladies. If only Little Edie were still around, I'd really love to have her come over and act as stylist for a bit. I've re-entered that awkward "maybe I'll grow my hair out" phase again but lack the patience to see it through -- maybe all I need is a towel pinned to my head with a little dramatic flair to get me through the bad-hair months ahead of me until I achieve Crystal Gayle-length hair. Maybe. Just maybe.
(To Alan: If you see Casino Royale a 4th time, I will be a little bit crushed. You see, what was once giddy anticipation became sheer joy with the 1st viewing. The 2nd brought me trembling excitement. The 3rd brought me a tinge of shame, as I began to fear the blatant judgment of others. The 4th enabled me to transcend my shame (slightly) and filled me with perverse pride. If you see it a 4th time and put us neck-and-neck, I will have to see it a 5th time -- nevermind the unrestrained judging I'll receive from everyone else in my life. I will do it. It may cost me the respect of those I love but I have my pride!)
Posted by ashley at 06:18 AM | TrackBack
January 05, 2007
1019: There's really no reason for this...
Maybe I'm just making excuses but in the past 24 hours, I've thought about this a little bit too much:
In my defense, I haven't been sleeping well and having two days off at the front of the week has clearly confused me quite a bit. I spent most of Wednesday thinking it was Monday (and Thursday thinking it was Tuesday, etc.). And everyone around my is either sick or close to it; I can feel myself fighting off their colds but apparently all my body's energy has gone to these protective efforts and detracted from my ability to, you know, not listen to Erasure.
Is that so wrong?
Posted by ashley at 10:49 PM | TrackBack
January 04, 2007
1018: Can't control my feet.
In honor of Dewey's miraculous recovery... Junior Senior!
Posted by ashley at 01:58 AM | TrackBack
January 03, 2007
1017: Still among the living in 2007.
I apologize for the lack of blogging lately -- things have been hectic, I've been lazy, blah blah blah.* Oh, also, my rabbit nearly died.
I thought that 2007 would get off to a really terrible start when Pete woke me on New Year's Eve morning to ask me to check on Dewey. Shaken out of my coma-like sleep, I leapt out of bed to look at Dewey, not having any sense of why Pete had asked me to do so. Given that Pete wouldn't have disturbed my vampiric slumber unless he were genuinely concerned about Dewey, I ran into the living room to see what the problem was.
My normally high-strung little man was flopped awkwardly on the floor and unresponsive to touch. If we petted him, he seemed to sink down rather than beg for more affection. He's completely toilet trained and never had an accident in the apartment before, but he went in two unusual spots as if unable to help himself. He couldn't be convinced to eat or drink, which given the nature of a rabbit's digestion system is a bad sign.
I flipped out like Natalie Portman in Heat and Pete (figuratively) slapped me around until I got a grip. We got ourselves together and located a 24-hour animal hospital with rabbit-treating capabilities and prepared to take Dewey in for examination.
As I mentioned before, Dewey is pretty high-strung and if he doesn't want to be caught, he won't be. He's his own man and he does what he wants, but given his sickly state, we were amazed to see how he sprung to life as soon as we attempted to pack him up for a trip to the vet. We attempted to trick him into jumping into his carrying box but he outsmarted us and proceeded to buck like a little bunny-bull just outside the box's opening as some sort of rabbit taunt. After a little coaxing, he ate some hay, eventually used his litter box, and transformed back into the tough little bunny we know and love. He came back from the edge of death just like he was Nikki Sixx, except, you know, covered in bunny fur and roughly the size of a sneaker. Rock on, bunny!
I thought I'd enter 2007 without my little sidekick but I was wrong.
Praise be! Let's speak in tongues!
Happy New Year, everyone!
* Oh, and, I saw Casino Royale for the 4th time on Friday. I don't know how I'm supposed to survive until it comes out on DVD in March but I'll find a way.