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May 22, 2008

1555: SkyMallin' - "Mr. Clock Radio"

I don't really know if there's a concise way to sum up all that SkyMall offers to the world, but I think it boils down to this: crap. Crap for your yard, crap for your closet, crap to frighten your pets... just crap.

If there's a theme, it's something to do with improving your life through spending -- which I guess is the essence of consumerism, but SkyMall differentiates itself by offering NOTHING OF REAL VALUE. In fact, SkyMall products border on having a negative value by virtue of not only being totally without purpose but maybe even a little bit harmful to anyone silly enough to spend money on this crap.

Case in point...

I'm sure you'll sleep better with that nightmarish thing at your bedside -- whispering sweet, robotic nothings into your ear as you quietly weep in the dark, too horrified by Mr. Clock Radio's presence to shut your eyes.

Evidently, it'll even punish you with taunts if you try to get some sleep -- helpful! I'm not much of a gadget person, but I'm first in line for the newest technology that promises to threaten me into submission.

So, that's the good news. The bad news is that in 2011 Mr. Clock Radio will begin to attack mankind.

Sleep tight!

Posted by ashley at May 22, 2008 11:36 AM

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