« 1523: "A meeting of the destructive and twisted youth of America in a facility that housed the same, decades prior." | Main | 1525: Great Works in Literature: Beat Not The Bones »
April 25, 2008
1524: "Qu'est-ce que c'est, les Babyshambles?
Ashley: my life is a joke
Chris: knock-knock or regular-type?
Ashley: more like the kind of joke where things walk into bars
Ashley: a bunny rabbit, a corpse, and arnold the pig walk into a bar
Ashley: the bartener asks, "what is this? Ashley's life?"
Chris: and then punches them and freaks out, because the bartender is naomi campbell.
Chris: also, posh and dita are there somewhere.
Chris: the end.
Chris: cue benny hill-esque chase scene.
Ashley: everyone is running through a series of doors down a long hallway, wearing cop outfits
Ashley: the bunny is riding a tricycle
Chris: ha ha ha
Ashley: thanks for putting that song in my head now.
Chris: ha ha ha ha
Ashley: as if my life weren't already a shambles... a baby shambles
Chris: i trying to find a way to use that music in my daily life
Chris: benny hill, not baby shambles
Some time later...
Chris: Sorry, I'm on the phone at the moment. I'll get back to you when I can.
Ashley: you were on the phone with pete dor... whatever his name is
Chris: ha ha, yes and now i feel all sweaty and disheveled as a result
Ashley: and you're wearing a coldstream guard's jacket, like that's not a cliche and you're not ripping off what better bands did thirty years ago
Chris: Sorry, I'm on the phone at the moment. I'll get back to you when I can.
Chris: doherty again. no insight as to why the name, "babyshambles"
Ashley: i thought maybe they were baby animals playing tiny instruments and i thought that must be the best band ever
Ashley: and then i realized they aren't and weren't
Chris: ha ha ha
Chris: my mental picture is of a zombie baby shuffling toward you, drooling slightly as it wants your brains
Chris: also, it has abnormally long, rickety legs
Ashley: ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ashley: it is a shambles of babies!
Chris: ha ha ha
Ashley: does it have a tambourine in its hand?
Chris: yes, and it whines.
Ashley: h aha ha ha what a scary baby!
Ashley: i want to put a baby bonnet on it
Ashley: and maybe some roller skates
Chris: ha ha
Chris: it may like that
Chris: it's a fairly happy zombie baby
Chris: even if it does crave brains
Ashley: i think it craves brains but it lacks the language skills to articulate this desire
Ashley: it just grins sheepishly, drools, and rolls forward
Ashley: i am making myself laugh so hard, is that wrong?
Chris: ha ha ha
Chris: it's like you're reading my mind!
Chris: babyshambles!
Ashley: its rickety knees have bandaids even though the flesh is long dead
Ashley: the shin bones are like three feet tall
Ashley: and it lurches backward with weird, unreliable posture
Chris: ha haha
Chris: exactly
Ashley: sometimes it lets out a long, wheezy groan of delight
Chris: ha ha ha
Chris: a gargle of joy at discovering fresh brains
Ashley: you can try to distract it with a baby book, the kind with thick pages and fuzzy stuff glued to pictures of dogs, but it will just stare out into space and gnaw in the book's spine
Chris: ha ha ha
Ashley: arrrrghghh!!!1! BABYSHAMBLES
Chris: ha ha ha
Chris: you just want to hug it, it's so cute!
Chris: even if it smells a little rotten.
Ashley: i want to take its frail, rotting hand and pull it around on the skates
Ashley: letting go after a while, and sending it sailing into a wall
Chris: ha ha
Chris: but you'd have to keep it away from the bunny
Ashley: it would reach out very slowly, but the bunny would always escape
Ashley: and the babyshambles would just groan with something like frustration, although that would imply that its rotten brain could have estimated what catching the rabbit would have accomplished and feel some kind of disappointment
Chris: also, it may nibble away at your ankle
Chris: until all that's left is a little bone
Ashley: i think i would feel that slow gnaw
Ashley: also, it only has baby teeth
Ashley: it would mostly be rotten baby gums gnawing at me
Chris: ha ha
Chris: right
Chris: but it's persistent
Ashley: its long, useless legs hanging out the front
Chris: ha ha ha
Chris: and a bib
Chris: that has a little picture of a zombie carrot on it
Ashley: ha ha ha ha ha
Posted by ashley at April 25, 2008 01:58 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.ashleysaunders.com/cgi/mt-tb.cgi/1513
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference 1524: "Qu'est-ce que c'est, les Babyshambles?: