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November 08, 2007

1334: Para bailar lasagna!

If I'd known what fans you all are of lasanga, I'd have offered you some of mine. There's still plenty.

Pete worked until way late the other night, and got home long after I'd gone to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I saw a near-empty bottle of Tabasco sauce on the kitchen counter -- in our household, this is the tell-tale sign of lasagna consumption, at least where Pete is concerned. Despite being the carnivorous type, he is largely unbothered by the lack of meat (or the abundance of cheese) in my lasagna, but Pete has a taste for spicier things than I ever will. Though we are united in our love of Mexican food, it kills him that I always go for that which is meatless and does not cause my nose to run due to over-spiciness. Who was it who said that love is the ultimate compromise? If so, Pete's choice to soak my lasagna in Tabasco sauce is evidence to that point.

As I mentioned, and as I always do, I made too much lasagna. When I saw signs that Pete had eaten some last night while I slept, I was stoked. To my horror, I counted the same number of lasagna containers in the fridge. Maybe he was so tired he just came home and ate some Tabasco sauce; I wouldn't put it past him. He came home with some random tequila-and-beer combination the other night just because he felt like trying something new. He regretted this, of course, but my point is that Pete is capable of really anything. I shouldn't judge; I realized today that on 3 out of 5 workdays, I wear shirts with pussycat bows. We're not right in the head.

Later on I realized that Pete had actually had lasagna with his Tabasco; he'd eaten half of the contents of one container, thus reducing the overall surplus of lasagna but not the number of lasagna containers. I haven't really made any effort to help the cause, largely because I'm too full of Mexican food. Did I mention that the other night, we ate at La Esquina and they played "Girlfriend in a Coma"? Overcome with joy, I nearly choked on my taco as I tried to convince Pete that this event supported my theory that the only people whose love of Morrissey rivals my own are Mexican. Anyway. Never mind that.

I'm glad that some of you know me well enough to know that all this despair over having too much lasagna doesn't translate into something about how I make really crap lasagna. I hate cooking, you know this, but that doesn't mean I don't cook decently. As I've explained before, I just don't have the casual confidence good cooks have -- therefore everything I cook (save for baking, which is entirely different issue) is marinated in my bitter, self-defeating tears. This doesn't make my cooking inappropriate for vegans, but the cheese content undoubtedly does.

Here's how to make yourself too much vegetarian lasagna:

Barilla makes "oven ready" lasagna noodles, which at first freaked me out a bit and I've only recently taken to using. I don't know why I was concerned about them, but they amount really the same thing as regular noodles, and you spare yourself the added trouble/time of boiling noodles, unsticking noodles, cleaning out additional pots and pans, etc.

I put down a layer of sauce on the bottom of what is probably a 13" x 9" casserole dish, but given my inability to estimate things, may be several feet larger than that in either direction. The sauce of preference in our household is Classico's "tomato and basil" sauce, because it's sweet and evidently works with Tabasco.

I layer noodles, ricotta, mozzarella, sauce, and so on and so on... I finish with extra cheese on top. I cover with foil and bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes. I remove the foil, and let the lasagna continue baking for another 15 minutes uncovered. I serve it at an ungodly temperature so we burn our mouths, and stuff the rest of the untouched lasagna into small containers. I worry about the amount of food I've wasted. I consume a taco. Rinse, repeat.

In the past, I've used vodka sauce because I would eat just about anything covered in vodka sauce -- just short of a piece of shredded tractor trailer tire. I've also added eggplant, zucchini and a variety of other non-meat items. Sometimes I double the amount of noodle layers, rendering the lasagna a sort of cheese-laden mille-feuille. Sometimes I don't pay any attention and let that sucker cook for too long -- no matter, seriously. It always comes out the same.

God, I'm hungry now.

Hungry for a burrito!

Posted by ashley at November 8, 2007 12:54 PM

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