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June 25, 2007
1206: Like a Black Cougar in the Dark!
I'm glad I'm not the only person who can't stop thinking about the Black Cougar, or pitting him against other superheros (some with slightly more respected pedigrees), wild animals, household items, and D-list actors. Dr. Amoeba joins me in my obsession.
I hate to canibalize emails and IM conversations the way I do, but whatever. I'm not funny very often, so cut me some slack. L'Amoeba and I were pondering whether or not the Black Cougar, in all his infinite awesomeness, would survive a deathmatch with any (or all!) of the following. Here are my best guesses on who wins and who loses (and who CRIES OUT FOR MAGIC!) in The Amoeba's suggested pairings...
BC vs. Hulk Hogan:
It will make me weep a little bit, but I think Hulkamania will be hindered by aching joints. I see the Black Cougar exploiting that without an ounce of sympathy.
BC vs. Stimpy:
Black Cougar all the way. Stimpy is so easily distracted!
BC vs. Bob Barker:
Barker will totally neuter that kitty!
BC vs. Dio:
I think Silvio will call off the Black Cougar out of respect for his metal elder.
BC vs. can opener:
I say the can opener wins because there's no way the Black Cougar can manipulate household appliances in those velvety gloves.
Of course, who we'd really like to see go toe-to-toe with our hero is Billy Zane:
God! What a tool!
He's so lame that the only thing which can redeem this blog entry is...
Posted by ashley at June 25, 2007 12:09 PM
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