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April 23, 2007

1136: "We're here to throw down."

In what is becoming a weekly ritual, Chris, Loren and I went to the movies over the weekend to see what Pete either can't be convinced to see for a first time or again for the millionth time.

Last week we basked (again) in the color-adjusted, blood-spewing glory of what The New Yorker called "the nuttiest movie ever to become a monster hit" and a "porno-military curiosity" in which "muscle-queen Spartans... fight in leather codpieces and red capes and die clutching each other’s hands... It has something to do with the battle of Thermopylae."

Frankly, I don't ask for a lot from a movie and yet many still fail to deliver. As long as a movie doesn't claim to be "important" or something I "must see," I'm good to go and I'm willing to give it a shot. It helps if it's not a "tear-jerker" or "a coming-of-age story" about "mothers and daughters" and "the true meaning of friendship." (Well, unless it's The Brave Little Toaster -- I can't handle that movie. It gets me every time!) And it had better not be lauded with awards simply so people who spend thousands on pore refining treatments to bravely sniff back fake tears and slow-clap in support of... you know, the big issues. Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!

I can think for myself! And I'm probably better off doing so than putting my brain on autopilot and letting people tell me what's wrong or right with the world because I'm obviously too stupid to form opinions myself. *drools on self*

*Phew.* But enough about that!

So, I was eager to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters -- a film which, while it might feature horrific acts of animated violence, couldn't possibly offend my film-loving sensitivities by purporting to be "a really important film" that, like, "starts an open dialogue" about blah blah blah. I just want to be entertained, which I was -- for the first 10 minutes of the film. Don't get me wrong, it was hilarious, but the first 10 minutes were absolutely fantastic. Loren and I had mused on whether the film ought to have been just a series of episodes back-to-back, because how could they possibly keep up the frantic momentum essential to any episode over the course of an hour and 27 minutes? Well, they couldn't. But we laughed anyway.

I won't bother to outline the plot because I'm slightly offended by all the reviews which make an effort to do so, completely ignoring the real essence of ATHF by trying to piece together a coherent narrative and assuming it has one in the first place. Besides, who doesn't know what ATHF is by now? There were only 4 women in the theater (Loren and I being 2 of these 4), and one of them was a very frail 3 million year old lady! Weird, yes, but whatever. She was down with it. She thinks your third dimension is cute!

In any event, ATHF movie... thumbs up, if only for bringing fans together. It's one thing to laugh by yourself (or with a bemused loved one) at home watching it, and another to enjoy it in a crowd of like-minded individuals. It warms the heart, even if your heart is made out of cheesewhiz.

Posted by ashley at April 23, 2007 09:58 AM

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