« 1091: Choose my color, find a star. | Main | 1093: In other news... »

March 19, 2007

1092: Prince Charming

I had a number of weird encounters today.

One happened to be a woman claiming to be a psychic and she had a pretty good gimmick. "I need to read your tarot cards!" She said, stopping right in front of me on the street. "No, thanks," I said and stepped to the side. "It's important! You don't understand!" She screamed as I kept walking, and for a split second, a small part of me wondered what she saw in my future. (Me forking over some cash for some mumbo-jumbo, obviously.)

A few minutes later, I found myself having to walk past a shady "DVD" store -- the kind of DVD store with no windows and even less shame. A guy came strolling out of the store looking a bit too smug for someone who'd clearly spent part of his afternoon in there, and immediately I had the uncomfortable sensation that I was about to be addressed by this fool. I think my default expression is actually kind of fearful, but I've been told that when I'm walking around, it's more furious than timid -- and for good reason. I made sure that as soon as he opened his mouth to flap his gums at me, he'd be receiving a fierce glare in return. "Aww... Why you so angry, baby?!" I don't know, maybe because people like you exist, perhaps? I turned up the volume of my iPod to avoid hearing any more of his commentary. I don't think he could offer me any kind of psychic guidance anyway.

I thought that returning to the office would put an end to these kinds of "Why are you speaking to me, again?" encounters but I was, in fact, wrong. Minding my own business at my desk, I saw a UPS man charging across the office and in my direction. He passed by a number of people who could have (and should have) signed for the package he came to deliver. He stopped a few feet from my desk and I had no choice but to look up. "Are you real? I couldn't tell if you was real." I was too baffled by that to even laugh, although I think he was actually strangely serious about this. I stood up to sign for the package, as he seemed unlikely to come any closer and hand it to me. (Can you blame him? Apparently I don't look "real.") "I saw that ribbon and I was like, you ain't real. You like a doll." He's referring to my sweater, which has a large, pussycat bow on the collar.

I smile noncommittally and take the awkward, brown, electronic UPS-sign-for-the-package-thing from his hand. To be fair, the way this office is planned, it's sometimes hard for a newcomer to know quite where to go; if he were genuinely startled to see me in the first place, I totally understand that -- but now he was giving me a creepy vibe. I signed and handed him the UPS-sign-for-the-package-thing back to him as he confirmed my suspicions. "You beautiful." I let the UPS-sign-for-the-package thing drop from my hand into his, knowing he wouldn't catch it in time. Whatever I'd accomplished by letting him drop that thing on the floor, I totally undid by accidentally by issuing the standard disingenuous response of a mumbled "Thank you."

I'm not the only girl who finds herself doing stupid things like that. It's partially a reflex and it's not as if we actually mean it. Someone compliments you and being a polite person, you thank them -- whether you mean it or not. If you fail to, you appear rude or conceited. Of course, you didn't ask for or want the compliment and receiving it makes you uncomfortable -- but isn't the person complimenting you being the rude one by putting you in a position to feel this way? Yes! More often than not, it's men who issue the compliments and women receiving them. (Please let me know if you, boys, have experienced the reverse.) In most cases -- such as being commented on by someone you pass on the street -- it's easy enough to blow by without finding yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to respond. It's not fair that your only options seem to be to either ignore the commentary or to react and risk getting harassed for standing up for yourself, and it makes me angry how often this happens. Politeness and an engrained fear of suffering the repercussions of simply standing up for yourself keep us from doing the right thing. We walk away, leaving it unchallenged, or worse yet, we find ourselves to respond politely to rudeness.

I was furious at myself for saying that, and even more furious that my first reaction was "Why didn't anyone say something to him?" (I am the only girl in my office.) Truthfully, if Jon had been at his desk when this happened, he would have certainly said something or at least created a situation in which the UPS guy didn't feel capable of acting this way. When I later told Jon about it, he was upset. But the fact that I thought I needed a guy to stand up for me when I couldn't do it myself made me feel a little pathetic. It's unfair I should ever have to feel this way in the first place, and then to feel my only security lies in a guy to correct the situation.

In any event, as I walked away, the UPS man sucked his teeth at me like I was a jerk for letting him drop the electronic sign-for-the-package thing on the floor. Maybe I was, but who's the bigger jerk? We need fewer creeps like him, and more heroes like this guy...

However certain I was at some point that I'd spend my life crashing through windows like Errol Flynn with a boy wearing eye shadow, I should clarify that Pete -- my boyfriend of nearly 5 years -- is not at all like that.

He's more like...

Evidently, Prince Charming doesn't wear lip gloss. He wears night vision goggles.

Posted by ashley at March 19, 2007 03:35 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.ashleysaunders.com/cgi/mt-tb.cgi/1090

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference 1092: Prince Charming: